Ten years ago - or was it twelve? - a hard time, feeling lost, uncertain, unable to hear my own voice. A little scarred, a little scared, tentative at best. And then.

A phone call with a dear, old friend, a true soul sister. An unburdening. Have I ever thanked her for her heart? She reached out and offered and helped drag me up and out. We talked for a while, and, as is the case with most of our phone calls, we ended it lifted up, excited with what we had uncovered, filled with plans and ideas, and, this time, a motto:

Find your joy now, and the path will reveal itself to you, and you will know it!

I wrote it down and pinned it to a bulletin board.

Directions for living; clear, perfect, true.

We just knew it was the answer! It was.

It is.

It always will be.

…

Find your joy now.

Listen, I know. I know that sometimes finding joy seems a long way from now. When you are somewhere around bored, or sad or worse, joy is way up near the top rungs of a ladder, and you have a lot of climbing to do. It can seem impossible, exhausting, not worth the effort.

But you know what you might be able to reach? Enlivened.

Enlivened

to make vigorous or active; invigorate:

to make sprightly or cheerful; brighten:

Synonyms:

1. animate, inspirit, vivify, stimulate, quicken.

2. gladden.

Enlivened.

I know it when I feel it. A quickening, a lightness. Excitement. Gusto.

I love it.

It might not seem like full-blown joy, but it is, or at least it is on the way to joy. It is sort of joy without the pressure of the capital J.

…

There are moments - there have been many for me - when the path does not seem clear, when I am searching for what it is I should be doing with my life. When finding joy now, seems a lofty endeavour, and not for the faint of heart. The words of wisdom offered might echo this refrain:

“Do what you love!”

“Find what you are passionate about and go do that thing!”

“Hustle!”

But sometimes, well, that feels like a lot of pressure. Passion? It sounds so dramatic and all-encompassing. So important and definite. So big. It sounds sweeping, grand. What could we possibly feel that strongly about? What is THE thing?!

Looking for THE thing has, at times, left me feeling as though there was nothing I was passionate about. I have equated “following your passion” with a sort of obsessive drive. It was always everything, or nothing at all - partly what I was told, partly what I chose to hear. And I was good at that, until I wasn’t. Until the seriousness of the dedication suffocated the joy, and the endeavour lost its lightness, its sense of play, its, well, passion. We can kill the things we love by imbuing them with such importance they are suffocated.

The truth is, doing what you love is smaller than I thought. And bigger. It is lighter. It is playful, it is silly and, wonder of wonders, fun. Doing what you love is in the small, light moments, the choices woven through every day, like silver threads through a tapestry. It is following that feeling of being enlivened. It is choosing to make carrot soup because it feels good to do it right now. It is starting that project because you feel energized at the thought. It is rearranging the furniture for the fun of it.

It is finding your joy now, following it, and allowing the path to reveal itself to you. It is going where the path is open. This way.

Next time you are seeking, next time you hear 'find your passion!", try this: do the next thing that enlivens you, and see where that leads. Follow that to the next and the next and the next. That is the way to the life you want. The happiness you seek. That is doing what you love. That is Joy. And it may be big and it may be grand and it may be sweeping. Or it may be as small (as huge) as writing a blog post, or baking some pumpkin cookies (if you'd like a yummy, healthy recipe, try this).

If you’re interested in coaching with me and learning more about how to trust your inner guidance, read more about it here, or contact me for a free consultation.