On Stuff
Fur and paws and curls and soft puppy snores.
The dishwasher hums.
Shane is snoozing.
I am tapping on the keyboard.
The rain falls outside.
It is a perfect, cozy afternoon. Peaceful, sleepy, delicious.
Except of course that the house is in a shambles - boxes half packed, piles of things waiting to be sold at the garage sale, threatening to topple at any minute, dirt and dog hair gathering in every corner, because who cares about vacuuming when you are in the middle of moving (or, let’s be honest, ever?).
There is much to do. Furniture to be dusted and photographed and posted on Craigslist - we are down-sizing after all, which means relinquishing most of our furniture. Clothes and books and shoes and office supplies and kitchenware and bric-a-brac to be sorted through and decided upon. Which is worthy of keeping? of selling? of giving away? of taking to the dump? Endless decisions - so much more difficult than simply packing in a box and hauling on to the next place. But this time, I am determined not to move anything I don’t want to keep to the new (tiny) place. And so. I mull over each item, even if only briefly, to determine its final destination. It’s rather exhausting, this “Having stuff”. The caring for it, the moving it, the relinquishing of it when its time has come. Which is why I am attempting to release all I can, to keep only that which I love or need. I swear I am not going to be bringing piles of crap into the new place. For one thing, there isn’t any room, so my options are limited. For another, I really don’t want to acquire a bunch of new stuff I have to clean, store, one day get rid of.
Lightness. I am seeking lightness.
Well, mostly.
Because, when I am relaxing, taking a break from all this sloughing off of excess, I find myself scrolling through Craigslist, looking for things to bring to our new house, to make our new lives better. Things like a Vitamix (come on, SURELY that would make our lives better), or an espresso machine (I’m back on coffee for now), or a cordless vacuum (because that way I am CERTAIN I would vacuum every day).
But these are things we need, you see. Useful essentials. The stuff I am releasing is junk, no longer useful to us. We’ve changed. We need new things.
So here I sit, atop this high-wire, at once clear about minimizing possessions, yet also clear about wanting some new key pieces. Can both these things be true? Can I have turned over a new leaf of wanting less when I am, at the very moment of de-cluttering, also scrolling through craigslist looking for things to buy?
I’d like to think so, but I’m not so sure.
Thus far I have not acquired any of the things I am searching for. I’ll keep you posted.
